The last few months I’ve come to realize (even more than before) that I’m not being heard, basically, I’m irrelevant!
When we get older and the younger generation (yes I said it) come into the business world, what you once thought was relevant for yourself – isn’t! Well, that’s me. Not just in the business world, but in my life, period.
I’ve been very fortunate (more than some) but I’ve also just been very damn lucky. I struggled to make something of myself (so to speak) from the time my parents divorced, to going through abandonments and to getting through high school and eventually ending my 26 year marriage.
Well – now I’m irrelevant. I have/had a great 4 years at my current job (mind you not all great – I’m merely speaking of the tenure) but I have been lucky there as well. Rather ironic that my colleague (A) – who was my ‘replacement’ for my previous position is now in a position of having to feel irrelevant herself. Not her fault, merely that she has been ‘mentally’ replaced. I feel for her (and support her) but have to admit that I was jealous as well. She did much better than I could have ever done (financially and in the position) but I admire this young lady also. I didn’t initially, but I do now.
As for me – well, I’ve been ‘lucky’ to be where I am and to have been given the position I have – but sadly I’m not being heard (respected, valued or noticed). Yes, I’m sure it’s my own fault (can’t blame others for who you become) but it’s been difficult to deal with. And then to go home and try to ‘vent’ and still not be heard is depressing. No, this isn’t JUST depression – it’s the reality of what I know – and obviously what I’ve created. But I have tried to create a different persona – to be someone who can be heard – only to find that when I speak, I have no relevance…
It goes also with this blog. I wanted to create a place of writing (which I enjoy) where I could create my happy place – Simple, Romantic Living. I lived simple, I tried to be romantic (but it was/is a rather one sided one romance) and living – well, I’m here. I post, in hopes of being heard, I write (what I find relevant at the time) but I realize that being ME is just this simple, southern little girl that really has no relevance to some others.
I’m not (A) – I don’t have that same ‘power’ or business savvy. I’m not the little Millennium (I obviously don’t have the same relevance at work), my work issue/stories and what I do for a living isn’t as relevant, appealing, interesting as M’s, and I’m not my sister (who can find the next romance (be attractive and appealing) from one to the next.
Just plain, old me. My new moniker (for myself) – the Southern Cinderella. You know, the one that’s always wanting to help others, who wants to be wanted/liked and be heard…
Don’t feel sorry for me – just do me a favor and really listen to those people who just want to be heard. Sometimes when we ramble (tell stupid stories/repeat ourselves) it’s only because we want to be heard for being us! We want to feel relevant (if even for a moment).