I realized that I DO have a purpose. Minute, as it may be, but there it is still is. Having watched the Steven Hawking movie, my mind in a bit of a fog from 2 Lemon Drops and the one large Mimosa, I am still here.
Every sensory inside my head is rapidly trying to speak to me. It tells me that I am not done yet. I need to keep writing and exploring.
I thrill myself with the thought that I’ve engaged in a wonderful new friendship, one that allows me to be ME, with someone who has gone through pain, loss, death and yet I’m completely intrigued with – Erica who is both extremely intelligent as well as a true, inspiring woman and now a great new friend.
Michael, who although my wandering, aimless mind wants to push away, still remains in his calm manner, steadfast and by my side. As I struggle with trying to find myself.
My beautiful, amazing sister, Monette, who deals with family issues, but yet who holds her own head up, even though she feels let down and all I can do is be here to listen. You are a true fighter and will always be my little sister and best friend.
And me – well, even with the euphoria of alcohol, I am rather excited… excited that I know I have a purpose. And although I don’t know what IT is, I do know that I am to remain ME – to FIND ME and to be here for these individuals as well as my two beautiful children. I will be like Erica, eventually the grandmother, I will be the love of Michael, the shoulder for Monette and I’ll learn who the hell I AM.
It’s friday, another day in Seattle – another day that ends with finding ME as I grow older, maybe not wiser, but growing to be ME. I’m grateful that I’ve made it through another day.
Maryanne Denner, you WILL find that new job, but until then, you will also find YOU. As each of us follows you on Facebook, we are inspired by your continued strength and wit.
To all of my other Edinburg High School classmates, I’m glad to see some of you and to see that through your own torments, trials and insight, you remain. I will always smile on what you gave me without even knowing what IT was…
I’m not going to say I’m sorry for this ODD post, I’m going to say – F… it, this is ME – I’m still that crazy little hispanic/irish fighter and I’m here to work on finding my voice.