And she…well, Julianne’s biggest goal is to empower women like you to speak up for themselves, so you should really hear about all of this and more in her own encouraging words.
Do you think you’re more self-accepting now than you’ve ever been?
A thousand percent, absolutely. I was very self-accepting growing up, then something switched in middle school. I would compare myself to everyone…and later I did a film where I basically was told I was fat every day, yet I was the skinniest I’d ever been. Now, when I’m self-conscious, I’ll do something completely crazy or goofy to get out of my own head—something fun that reminds me of the freedom I felt as a kid before all that happened.
Smart trick. Do you have a secret relationship tip everyone should know?
We actually have a code phrase that we use. It’s “same team.” So if one of us feels we need to have a “conversation,” we preface it with that. Like: “Hey, ‘same team.’ I love you, but you hurt my feelings.” So the other person goes into it with an open mind, versus being immediately defensive. And we celebrate every little victory.
What do you do to celebrate?
Sometimes we’ll have a special date night, and other times we’ll toast over dinner at home. In the past, we were both the kind of people who instead of celebrating would be like, “What’s next?”
I actually recently got some great news and called to tell my friends, which I never would have done before. I was like,
“Thank you for making me feel comfortable enough to share this with you because I’m really proud of myself and I don’t think I would have recognized that unless I’d told you.”
I want them to call me with their little victories too because they are the best thing ever.
That’s great! I think as women we’re programmed to bond over bad things and not share the good. (so unfortunately true)
Absolutely. I’ve even told some of my close girlfriends that the next time we get together, I don’t want to hear anything negative. I want us to build our relationships around positive things. I’m not saying that we can’t vent to each other, but friends need to support each other through good things in life, too.
Describe where you are in life right now and why it’s really exciting to be you.
I’m in this new chapter of shifting my career again, where I’m refocusing on acting. So it’s scary, but I have so much certainty in my relationship that I actually feel like I’m 18 years old—fresh and excited, but with knowledge.
So fear is good, right?
I always say that without fear, you can’t have courage. And without courage, you can’t take risks and have success. It’s really invigorating and fulfilling when you actually do something that scares the s–t out of you.