What a great article from 4 Common Types of Self-Talk – Mindful post. Follow the link for the full article.
How paying attention to your internal dialog can free you from your self doubt, and help familiarize you with your own personal brand of autopilot.
When you begin to bring mindfulness to thoughts, one thing you notice is some kind of “self-talk” going on—you’re talking to yourself. As we bring a beginner’s mind to it, we can’t help but notice how unbelievably hard we are on ourselves so much of the time. We say things that we would never say to a friend: What is wrong with me? or I’m such an idiot or I’ll never get this right. Over time, we notice how mood distorts the thoughts in one direction or another. When we’re in a good mood, the frequency and intensity of the negative thoughts lighten. Maybe we even notice ourselves thinking, I’m brilliant! And when there is more emotional distress, the negative thoughts become more intense and frequent.
Michael comment to me last night: “I promise it’s not the wine talking (lol), but I wanted to just say, I SO love and appreciate you and thank you for being my friend and for being here for me”… My response “awwww thank you sweetie, I love you too” (but my thought): Rehashing—This is when our thoughts reflect on past circumstances, going over them again and again, often in an effort to figure something out.
Do you find yourself doing that if someone gives you an unexpected compliment?
Then there’s my poor friend Erica, thank you – for allowing me to talk your ear off this morning, thank you for being a friend! Love you for that friendship. To my other ‘few friends’ (you know who you are) THANK YOU for also putting up with me – ain’t easy peasy… teehee. My thought: Rehearsing—This is the mind practicing some future event, playing through, again and again, the possible ways it may unfold.
What (if any) rehearsal do you do? My example is ‘job hunting’…
Thank you to my family (immediate and those far away) I love you all unconditionally. We may not always get along, but I KNOW who I am and what role I play in my part and I love with all my heart (even when you mentally hurt me). We are family.
Blaming—This is a mind trap in which some uncomfortable feeling is expelled by holding ourselves responsible for another’s pain or holding others responsible for our pain. The problem here is that when you perceive the issue as lying outside of you, you give your power away to effect change.
And I want to say thank you to my former colleagues (those who put up with me for the over 4 years at my last job (sadly some are now also going through layoffs). I thank each of you for allowing me to be that crazy little woman that ran around the office trying to be the HAPPY POLICE (teehee) but also WHINED (but I DID offer wine several times with that) and for letting me be ME – the part time entertainer too! You know my thoughts were: Catastrophizing—This is the mind’s “what if” game. It snowballs the worst-case scenario of the future with worried thoughts: What if this happens? What if that happens? These thoughts amplify anxiety and depression.
What do YOU do to try and shut down your own ‘bad’ self thoughts/talks? Or if you don’t have any, can you share the insight (alcohol) or whatever you use? teehee
Now to go and talk to myself (or poor Archer)…